Chemsitry
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I was on my way home from my regular "drink" night with Shanna last night when I decided to respond to a work-related email sent by Back Street Boy. (For those of you who didn't read my last blog, I have "nicknamed" my co-worker/crush "Back Street Boy".)
Earlier that evening, he had sent an email reminding us that representatives from Merrill Lynch were coming to speak to us about taking over management of my firm's 401K program. I asked whether it was a coincidence that the meetings for all non-attorneys (including me) were scheduled at the most inconvenient times.
He sent his email at 6:00PM. I sent mine at 10:00PM. Within a few minutes, he responded with a single word "Yes" (meaning it was just a coincidence). I got very upset that he was so terse and had not picked up the ball to engage in flirtatious banter with me and became convinced that he thought I was a leper.
I sent an email to Blue insisting that I was never going to develop feelings for someone ever again because, once I do, I instantly become unappealing to them. Then I washed my face/brushed my teeth, put on my pajamas and got into bed. Then I noticed the red light blinking on my Blackberry.Back Street Boy had emailed me again about 20 minutes after his first email asking why I was emailing him so late. (I later discovered that when I did not respond to his second email right away, he sent me a text message asking if I was still at work.) I told him I had been out but I was home now.
He said that he would have met me out for a drink. I told him I wasn't aware of that. So, to keep this brief, he asked if I wanted to go back out to a bar in our hood. I was pretty buzzed but decided it would be foolish not to take him up on his offer, especially since I had been hoping to spend time with him. I put my makeup back on and threw on some clothes. I kept it casual ( - cargo pants and a tank top) but made sure it was flattering, of course. I met him at about midnight for what I told him would be one drink.
Three and a half hours later, he finally walked me home. He's adorable. He's funny. He's smart. I got the opportunity to watch him engage with drunk strangers and he's charming. He has no qualms about singing along to cheesy 80s music from the Juke Box. He's generous - I offered him cash and he wouldn't take it. I was so content in his company that I probably drank way too many beers because I was afraid that asking for water might be taken as a sign that I was ready to go home.
I am not at all comfortable skipping the gym two days in a row yet I didn't care that I had skipped the gym on Thursday and would likely not be able to get up this morning. I kept wanting to touch him. I wanted to kiss him a million times during the night but I had (have) no idea whether we were there as friends or whether it was a spontaneous "date". I also prefer to follow a guy's lead in that regard. When we got to my apartment, he hugged me. Not a lame-ass hug, but a real embrace.
Nevertheless, it was a hug and not a kiss. The goodbye happened so quickly that, before I knew it, I was upstairs in my apartment. I sent him an email from my Blackberry thanking him and telling him I had a great time. I haven't seen him today, except when he walked past the 401K meeting I was attending. He looked almost as tired as me. I really look and feel like crap today, but it was worth it. Of course, I still have no idea what's going on his head but my thoughts are crystal clear: I like the boy. I mean, I really, really like him.

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